One week to go – the excitement is maddening

Only one week left and here I find myself holed up at Jocko’s motel in Calabogie half way through the final sweep of the route (cursing the two guy’s who just left on dual sports to explore this amazing area).

But that’s not important right now. What is important is that we have somehow managed to get back to sold out status once again. KYMCO Canada managed to convince some visiting dignitaries from KYMCO Taiwan to “come out for a short ride” and wham, back up to 99 riders. Jolly good, I hope they don’t go back thinking Canada is messed up.

THE ROUTE

Be ready for a long ride.

Be ready for a long ride.

It’s going to be pretty tough (lots of hills) and after a few modifications (one of the gas stations en route has closed down since the last scout) the main loop distance is now a challenging 674 km. As always we’ve got a bonus loop for the truly mad amoungst you, which will add another 170 km or so.

This means that the minimal average speeds we put in the recent Rider’s Letter are a little slow. Here’s the retweaked figures but bear in mind this is the slowest you can go on average if you want to make it back within your allotted time.

Class

Scooter Size

Time Allowed

Average Speed (Main Loop)

Average Speed (Bonus Loop)

Straight Jacket

Up to 50cc

24 hours

28.1 km/h

34.8 km/h

Heavily Medicated

Greater than 50cc & up to 110cc

20 hours

33.8 km/h

41.8 km/h

Therapy Required

Greater than 110cc & up to 200cc

18 hours

37.5 km/h

46.4 km/h

Day Release

Greater than 200cc

16 hours

42.2 km/h

52.2 km/h

MAD POINTS

Preference will be given to the smaller scoots

How are you planning to get your mad points?

We’ve been a little slack getting these determined as we wanted to finalize the clues during the last scout, but here’s a rough breakdown (though we reserve the right to retweak them in the next week) of what you need to do to get what points (out of a total of 1000):

  • Charity Bonus (raise $200 or more for the Kids Help Phone): 20 points
  • Madness of the Rider (get them costumes freaky): 100 points
  • Madness of the Scooter (just what can you do with that stock scoot?): 350 points
  • Route Questions (the clues en route): 150 points
  • Route Photos (make us laugh): 180 point
  • Bonus Loop (just when you thought it was all over): 200 points

PRIZES

If you don't win the KYMCO scooter, then at least you should be able to come away with a beer or 24.

If you don’t win the KYMCO scooter, then at least you should be able to come away with a beer or 24.

Fine quality beer drinkers rejoice! Mill Street Brewing Company are on board with the Mad Bastards and will be supplying beer for returning riders as well as for prizes to category winners!

We’re also putting together some stellar prizes to give away at the Friday night raffle with KYMCO, BMW and Yamaha all chucking in some fine gear to win.

HERE’S THE SHIRT

Announcing the 2013 MBSR t's.

Announcing the 2013 MBSR t’s.

This year the MBSR t’s will be blue, with the 2013 logo on the front (though in red instead of pink because we think it looks better and has absolutely nothing to do with it being cheaper to print) and the signature slow-moving vehicle triangle adorning the back, along with our lovely sponsors’ logos, without whom we’d all be lost in a pit of despair.

You’ll get yours at Friday’s registration.

 

 

 

Two weeks to go – the finishing touches

Only two weeks to go! It seems to be only a week ago when we had three left … ah, lady time, a fickle and yet consistent marcher. But to the matters at hand;

RIDERS’ LETTERS

Getting tired? Stop and take a rest.

Get there early and take the stress out of registration to ensure a good night’s sleep before the main event.

Wondering what the plan is for the weekend? Well if you a registered rider or guest then you should have just received your riders’ letter giving a quick run down of what to expect and when.

The most important thing is to be sure to be at the hotel by 6pm on Friday at the very latest. We have our compulsory riders’ meeting that evening and if you miss it then you miss the rally (there’s a lot of safety issues being discussed). However, you can also show up early and partake in the KYMCO demo rides that will be going all afternoon, or just chill and relax at the hotel pool so you’re in tip-top condition for the task ahead.

FANCY THAT

The media are always welcome. Especially when they dress up accordingly.

Show up Friday in full garb!

Talking of Friday, we’re mixing it up a bit this year and making costume compulsory for the Friday banquet. Yes, if you’re going for the Mad Points and the ultimate win then you must have a good costume and we want everyone to see what you got. Don’t worry, you won’t be alone. This year the MBSR staff and volunteers will also be dressed up, in scrubs!

CHARITY – 40% THERE!

We should see if they’ll accept calls from any Mad Bastards that break down en route …

Have you registered to fund raise for the MBSR charity; the Kids Help Phone? To date we have about a third of the money that we need to reach our target of $15,000 and with only two weeks to go! It’s all for a good cause, could earn you an additional 20 Mad Points and will give you that warm gooey feeling that is usually only achievable by eating deep fired slugs.

But why go through the expense of the slugs when you can get other people to pay for your fundraising? Why indeed, click here to get started.

Three weeks to go – Demo bikes, sweep and singing chimp

Is it really only three weeks away? The counter doesn’t lie and as the collective madness mounts, here’s a few updates that I hope are of interest to you:

Demo Bikes

KYMCO are going to bring a full fleet of their scooters to Friday’s demo day that runs from 2 till 6 pm. If you fancy having a go on the maxi 500 Xciting or the mini Like 50, then be sure to show up early to register and then ride before the debauchery starts at the Rider’s Meeting.

Here’s what’s on the KYMCO menu:

Do you think you're mad enough?

You can test ride the KYMCO Agility and then if you are indeed the maddest bastard, win it too.

Xciting 500Ri ABS
Xciting 500Ri
Downtown 300i
B&W 250
People GT 200i
Frost 200i
Movie 150
People S 125
New Sento 110i
Agility City 50 4T
Like 50 2T
Vitality 50 2T
Sento 50
Super Sento 50
New Sento 50i
Super 8 50 2T
Super 9 LC

Sweep truck by Yamaha

Should be big enough, no? Okay, so this is a scaled down model, and the actual truck is more likely a pick-up, but close enough.

Should be big enough, no? Okay, so this is a scaled down model, and the actual truck is more likely a pick-up, but close enough.

Yamaha have once again agreed to attend the Mad Bastard with their sweep truck so that they can scoop up the sad bastards that have found themselves stranded at the side of the road in rural Ontario in fancy dress and dump them in the next big town.

As with everything MBSR, we can’t promise that the sweep truck will be able to rescue you and we recommend that you have CAA coverage, but at least there’s a fair to middling chance they can help. And hey, being dropped off in Buttsville, Nowhere is better than Nowhere, Nowhere, no?

We’ll be sure to give you Andrew Smith’s contact number (he’s the fine chap who will be sitting in a Yamaha truck for 24 hours) at the rider’s meeting. Be nice to him, he may be your best friend.

Sub sell out

Jon Bon Chimpy will woe the Bastards on Friday

Jon Bon Chimpy will wow the Bastards on Friday

After all the fanfare of last week’s announcement of selling out, we’re back down to 96 riders after some of the ‘to be determined’ registrations were determined to be unable to attend.

Sadly this means that we’ve had to cancel the 99 singing girls and dancing lamas from the Friday night banquet though we might keep the singing chimp just for the heck of it (he does a great Jon Bon Jovi impression – honestly, you can’t tell them apart).

Four weeks to go – Generous Bastards watch out!

Most Generous Mad Bastard

Too fancy for a Mad Bastard? You can always give it the rally master ;)

Too fancy for a Mad Bastard? You can always give it the rally master ;)

As you know, we have a charity aspect to the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally, in order to raise funds for the Kids Help Phone (click here to go to the registration page). As we did in 2011, we will be awarding a brand new Bulova Precisionist watch to the person who raises the most money for charity.

According to the blurbage wrapped around a pile of $20 notes that was dropped off in a brown paper bag at the CMG offices today, the BULOVA PRECISIONIST is the world’s most accurate watch with a continuous sweeping second hand. Accurate to 10 seconds a year as compared to most other quartz watches which are accurate to 15 seconds a month.

The watch has been kindly donated by Tony Prezio of Quality Jewellers at 2917 Dundas St W, Toronto ON M6P 1Z1, 416-769-3469. Like last year Tony will also be riding the MBSR and will be there to present the watch to the best money raiser at the Friday night banquet.

Oh, and even if you don’t think you’ll be able to raise the most $$$, all and any helps and if you can get at least $200 raised we’ll reward you with a bonus 20 Mad Points for trying.

Sell outs!

No, not in the sense that we’ve sold our souls, but in the sense that the rally has actually sold out! In that goddamn brilliant 99 sell out sense!! Not sure how it happened, there was a “is it too late for my brother to join me?” and the “can I bring my son?” factor, but it’s good to know that for the first time in Mad Bastard history we have actually sold out.

No more room at the inn!

Comfort Inn has another 20 rooms set aside for late bookers.

Comfort Inn has another 20 rooms set aside for late bookers.

Talking of selling out, the Travelodge is officially full! But fear thee not if thee does not have a room. The Comfort Inn does have room and is located only 10 mins away from the Travelodge and it’s a tad cheaper to boot at $92.99/night with the MBSR group discount, and it includes a complimentary breakfast (though sadly you’ll be gone before they serve it).

Just call them at 613-966-7703 and tell ‘em that you’re with the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally to get the lower rate. They have beds with two doubles or single queens. Just in case you need it, here’s the address: 200 Park St N  Belleville, ON K8P 2Y9 and a link to Google Maps.

Get thee on thy forum

Okay, by now costumes must be well underway, teams sorted and plans hatched. So don’t keep it all to yourselves, write about it on the MBSR forum and join Jamie Leonard with his very entertaining Steampunk quest for MBSR dominance. Go on, show us your gear.

Videographer wanted

We’re looking for someone with a decent camera and a decent knowledge in how to use it to come to the Mad Bastard and record it for posterity and our usual 3 min promo piece. If any of you may know such an individual, please contact us with their contact details.

Five weeks to go – The riders are in!

But first, some quick reminders …

If you have a mental age of 5, you might actually benefit from them too!

If you have a mental age of 5, you might actually benefit from them too!

If you haven’t done so already, please be sure to book your Travelodge Hotel room! We have a block of rooms at $109 until May 22 on a first come first served basis. You should also register for the MBSR charity. Kids Help Phone is a great one and any money that you can raise is much appreciated. Click here to go to the registration page.

Oh and in case you don’t have a way to countdown the day, hours and minutes, we’ve inserted a handy countdown clock just over there to the right (up a bit, bit more, there it is). Fancy eh? Yep, no expense spared at the Mad Bastard HQ.

What? Only five weeks to go? Better get out of bed and start organizing it then.

Registrations

Scooterman got the most points in 2011 and won the rally.

Scooterman’s back and looking to retain the number 1 plate!

Okay, so all the registrations are in (well we’re still waiting on some info from some of the sponsors and a few registration payments to go through) but here’s what we have. As you can see we’ve got a damn good 96 riders this year, which is three down from the goddamn brilliant 99 sell out that we were hoping for.

But that’s okay with us, we’re jiggy with 96 and are looking forward to the best attended Mad Bastard to date. Did I mention that it’s also going to be the toughest as well? No? Oh dear, sadly no refunds at this stage.

Jamie’s scoot is currently being rebuilt by a dog …

So what’s of note? Well we think the best team name (to date – you have time to add/change yours) is Fifty Shades of Eh. And perhaps the maddest bastard is Mondo Lulu who is on a vintage 1968 Lambretta SX150.

Though of course we don’t know about costumes yet. Speaking of which don’t forget to check out Jamie’s forum updates and his Steampunk themed entry.

Anyway, for those brave souls that dared to put their mad hat into the ring, welcome and please go over the registration list below to ensure that your info is correct. Those in red mean that we’re missing something from you (we’ll be in touch soon), otherwise those not in a team, maybe you’d like to see if anyone listed might make a suitable teammate. If so, let us know and we’ll see if we can do some cosy matchmaking.

List too small grandad? Fear thee not, click ‘ere and put away the novelty sized magnifying glass.

And here's who's in!

And here’s who’s in!

Registration extended!

Jamie’s steampunk theme is coming on nicely. Check out the MBSR forum for more and please feel free to start your own thread!

We’ve had a few fence sitters ask us to extend registration while they get they madness on. Since we still have a few spots we thought “why not” so we’ve pushed the registration deadline out till the Wednesday 8th of May.

For all those who have already registered please be sure to book your hotel rooms soonish. We have a block of rooms at the discounted rate of $109/night until the 22 May. Also, do not forget to register for the rally’s charity, the Kids Help Phone. There will be Mad Points awarded if you raise $200 or more and we’re working on a special prize for the one who raises the most. You’ll also help troubled kids who need to be able to pic up the phone and talk to someone, which is the whole point really.

Oh, and finally, as soon as we shut down the registration next week, we’ll start our countdown to the rally weekend with weekly updates right here. In the meantime, be sure to check out the Mad Bastard forum and Jamies posting on his Steampunk themed scooter and costume for some inspiration!

Jolly good. See you next week.

The 2013 grand prize

Do you think you're mad enough?

Do you think you’re mad enough?

KYMCO have just announced that the winner of the 2013 Mad Bastard Scooter Rally will receive a brand new Agility City 50 4T scooter!

With stable 16″ wheels (much more stable than you no doubt), under seat storage space for your medication and a top box for a straitjacket, the Agility makes the perfect Mad Bastard machine.

The cost of this fine scoot for regular sane people is $2,995, but all you have to do is pay $195 to enter and be a right Mad Bastard for 24 hours and it’s yours*.

* Will have to compete with up to 99 other complete nutters.

Therapy Required Class opens tonight!

Yes, it’s early. But the early bird catches the worm, and if you get up early to catch worms, then you’re a likely candidate for a little bit of therapy. So, if your scooter is between 110 and 200 cc, log into the registration at 9 PM ET and get yourself a spot on the Mad Bastard couch, so to speak, for some much required therapy.

Oh, and that means that we can bring the Day Release class up by a week also, so you Mad Fat Bastards in the Day Release Class will be able to to sign up on the 9th of April instead of the 15th. Any questions? No? Good, carry on but be sure to be back in the asylum before nightfall.